Teachers see it happen all the time. Parents come to conferences unprepared and ask a broad array of questions.
Suddenly, time is up and the opportunity to have a productive meeting has passed.
Take advice from the experts and avoid this scenario with these tips to make the most of your limited face-to-face teacher time.
1. What’s going on at home?
Be open to telling teachers what’s going on at home that could be affecting your child’s performance at school, says Melanie Horowitz, an administrator at Wilmette School District 39, and a former elementary school principal. “We want to get to know your whole child. Withholding information is a piece missing out of a puzzle.”
2. Pre-send bullet points
Prior to the meeting, think about the information you need and make sure the people who have it will be in attendance, says Stephanie Livesay of the National Association of School Psychologists in Maryland.
Prepare the teacher or team in advance by emailing bullet points of what you want covered, ranked by order of importance, Livesay says. It ensures that the conference will be productive, regardless of how much time you are allotted.
In the email, you should also:
- Request work samples
- Raise any issues your child would like addressed
- Ask if the teacher has questions for you
3. Don’t dwell on grades
At the conference, a big mistake parents make is dwelling on a child’s grades. The conference should center on learning, Horowitz says. Even if your child is doing “fine,” the teacher should explain what that means and share ways to build on her strengths.
Ask questions like:
- How does she get along socially? Because it effects how she perceives the school day.
- Is she resilient?
- How are her problem-solving skills?
- Are there any other skills that could contribute to her success at school?
Your objective should be to:
- Build on strengths. Don’t just talk about struggles.
- Set specific goals that are attainable by next marking period.
- Work as a team.
4. Don’t accuse; instead question
When a teacher presents a problem, such as, “Your son is disorganized,” replace accusations with questions. “What are you doing to help him get organized?” “What can I do?”
5. Special needs take special meeting preparation
Parents of special needs children might prepare by consulting with advocates, like former special education teacher Jonathan Carroll of Northfield or Highland Park attorney Micki Moran. They can untangle the red tape and put the focus back on the child. If time runs out, ask for another meeting.
6. Communicate the results—including what was good and what can be improved— with your child
Above all, tell your child about the conference because he is part of the team, Horowitz says. If the teacher suggested ways he can improve, share it with him.
Do you have another strategy for parent/teacher conferences? Please share it below. We’d love to add more ideas to this conversation.
