Resolution Revolution

Every year we make the same-old resolutions, and every year we inevitably fail to keep them—it’s time for a resolution revolution!

Where old resolutions felt like punishments, our new-and-improved resolutions focus on enjoyment, not deprivation. Here, we put a positive spin on the age-old negative thinking.

Old Resolution:
Achieve balance on your scale.

New Resolution:
Achieve a better work-life balance. Like, turn your Blackberry off at night, for a few nights each week. Less stress will mean you eat less, and that may help you shed pounds quicker than anything else.

Old Resolution:
Entertain more.

New Resolution:
Let yourself be entertained more. Resolve to take the pressure off yourself and spend more time out and about with your girlfriends.

Old Resolution:
Hang up the new TP roll immediately after the old one runs out. (Substitute any ongoing household task you never seem to get around to doing.)

New Resolution:
Accept that perhaps the TP roll is happier—more at home, if you will—free from its cage and sitting, harmlessly, on the bathroom sink.

Old Resolution:
Stop eating sweets.

New Resolution:
Drink more water. Really. It will fill you up, and as a result, you’ll eat fewer sweets.

Old Resolution:
Recycle every piece of recyclable material you possibly can, and start composting.

New resolution:
Oh, enough already with the green guilt. Just shut the water off when you’re brushing your teeth. And that neighbor of yours, who’s already really awesome at composting … start kissing up.

Old Resolution:
Spend less money on shoes.

New Resolution:
Spend more money on Groupons and other online deals, so you can spend the money you save on other things, on … well … shoes!

Old Resolution:
Organize those piles in your home office.

New Resolution:
Toss the piles and start fresh! (If you haven’t touched it in a year, you don’t need it.)

Old Resolution:
Cook more.

New Resolution:
Make it look like you’re cooking more. Catering companies like Chow! Bella will deliver food right to your house, so you’ll have healthy meals for your family without investing all that time.

Old Resolution:
Workout more.

New Resolution:
Walk more. Resolve to run one errand a week on foot, that way the exercise is built into your day.

Old Resolution:
Stop nagging your loved ones.

New Resolution:
Start complimenting your loved ones. Experts say positive reinforcement is way more powerful than criticism.

Old Resolution:
Lose 10 pounds.

New Resolution:
Lose the ‘tude. You’re beautiful just the way you are.