Every woman needs an estate plan, particularly if they have children or other dependents.
Unfortunately, most American women either don’t have an estate plan, or they let their husbands do the planning. This needs to change.
“On average in the United States, women become widowed at 59, but their average lifespan is 80,” says Kathy Roeser, Executive Director and Wealth Advisor for The Roeser Group of Morgan Stanley. Twenty-one years is a long time to live with the consequences of a spouse’s estate plan.
The number of American second marriages and blended families keeps growing. In these situations, women should not only participate in the estate planning, but they should consult with experts independently of their husband to assure that joint plans provide well for all members of their families.
“Although it may be initially uncomfortable…for a married woman to seek independent advice, women who fall into [these] circumstances will ultimately find comfort in knowing the estate plan works appropriately for them and their loved ones,” says Anita Sarafa, Managing Director of J.P.Morgan Private Bank.
I have to confess to procrastinating myself in the past, despite my blended family and other reasons to prioritize estate planning. I used excuses like “I’m too busy,” or “I hate thinking about death.” I finally kicked myself into gear and used excellent resources to educate myself, including “Plan Your Estate” (Nolo, 2012) by Denis Clifford, and the advice of outstanding attorneys, financial planners and insurance experts. I’ve developed the following nine steps to responsible estate planning, which I hope will motivate you to start and complete your own estate plan.
1. Survey your property.
Gather, review and understand all financial statements, policies, etc. that reflect the value of your property and insurance coverage upon your death. Include any property that you own with your spouse or other partners.
2. Survey your spouse’s property.
If married, do the same for all property your spouse owns.
3. Set goals and objectives.
Decide what you want to happen after you die, including custodianship of minors and any charitable bequests. Set your financial goal to support your family if predeceased by your spouse.
4. Get expert advice.
Educate yourself inexpensively with reference books and by consulting with reputable insurance agents and financial planners. Invest in an outstanding estate-planning attorney. Research experts and get referrals before choosing insurance agents, financial planners or attorneys.
5. Schedule estate-planning meetings with your spouse.
Set a schedule; don’t procrastinate. You should plan a loving presentation of all issues that need to be addressed.
6. Lay a foundation for estate-planning decisions to follow.
Really, shouldn’t shared values, hopes and dreams undergird most major decision making with your spouse? Estate planning is no exception.
7. Allow yourself time to develop and execute.
Taking full advantage of all opportunities to transfer wealth with the least tax consequence, insure financial stability using insurance and other techniques, and to make wise decisions on behalf of your heirs will require time to explore options and put in place appropriate legal instruments. This includes trust documents that pass assets outside of the probate system. Be patient with yourself and the process. Persist by always scheduling the next meeting with your expert consultants or spouse to move the process forward.
8. Designate decision makers.
Decide who should make legal or health-care decisions on your behalf if you become incapacitated. Stipulate your preferences regarding life-support and organ donations.
9. Secure all estate documents.
Make it easy for others to find and execute your plans. Include a letter or videotape that reminds your heirs of your values, hopes and dreams. Although initiating your estate planning process and requesting active participation from a spouse can be hard, the emotional rewards far outweigh the discomfort; you alleviate potential angst and assure a sounder future for your family. In short, with thoughtful estate planning you will make it better for yourself and the ones you love.
