Sex in the Suburbs

If you and your husband are past your 10th anniversary and have kids, I’m pretty sure there are two problems with your sex life:

1) No privacy and 2) No variety. Today I’m putting on my love doctor lab coat and giving you an important prescription.

Book yourself a hotel room.

First of all, you need to get away from your kids. Parents of younger children might snatch a few minutes of alone time after the kids are in bed, but it’s still hard to relax. Nothing quashes desire like the pitter pat of little feet outside your locked bedroom door or a cry for a glass of water during a crucial moment of an intimate act.

And once your kids are older, forget about it. Teenagers are like vampires; it’s impossible to outlast them at night. You try to retreat to the master suite on a pretense – “Dad and I are watching the History Channel!”- but they sense what you’re up to. Teens who haven’t willingly uttered two words to you in days will be banging on the door with a lame question, forcing you to scramble for your panties. It’s not hot.

When you finally manage to find uninterrupted time in the bedroom, let’s face it – it’s routine. Same bed, same view, same lighting. Remember when you were younger, all the exciting places you and your spouse did it? Beaches, golf courses, elevators? (Well, I never did it in an elevator, but I have friends.) It was fun! Sometimes I think my bedroom is the least sexy place in the entire world. It makes me sleepy.

But there is a solution, and it’s only a click away. Book yourself into a hotel.

“But I can’t!” I hear you protest. “It’s too expensive, and who will watch my kids overnight?”

Silly. You can get a lovely hotel room for the price of a decent restaurant meal. And, duh, you aren’t going to sleep there. A couple hours will do just fine.

For example, this Saturday night you can stay at the Margarita European Inn right above Va Pensiero. Get dinner to go (right upstairs) or pack a bottle of champagne, a hunk of cheese, strawberries, chocolate, and some sexy lingerie. I promise, it will be the best date night you’ve had in a while.

As my friend Ginny says, “If I were in a hotel I’d have sex every night!”

Here are some other suburban hotels to think about:



Hilton Chicago Northbrook

Reprinted with permission from