Here’s a surprise: Men are needier than women when it comes to intimacy. Women often get emotional support from other women—friends, mothers and daughters, for example. Men, however, crave intimacy and affirmation from their spouses, because according to a recent Chicago Tribune article, it’s the only place they get it. And after speaking to a […]
Does this scenario sound familiar? Kate and Jim are settling onto the couch, finally able to relax after a long day. “Hey,” Jim grins. “Wanna have sex?” Kate looks at him with exasperation. She loves her husband, but she just sat down and, unfortunately, nothing about her is pulsating with desire. “Not really,” she answers […]
Here on the North Shore most couples base their relationship on the expectation of monogamy. If you’re married, becoming intimately involved with another person is an act of betrayal, and unless you change your cheating ways, your relationship is doomed. But people who practice polyamory (Greek for many loves) don’t see it that way. They […]
With all the hype, Valentine’s Day has the potential to be a big let down for women. Here’s an idea—this year, you play Cupid. Why set yourself up to be disappointed by a lame box of chocolates or a grocery store bouquet of roses? Set the stage for romance, and you might end up feeling […]
Why is good sex important (especially compared to a good night’s sleep)? In September we kicked off a series of shows based on this column at the Wilmette Theatre, and our first panel discussion focused on that question. The answer may seem obvious—duh, of course sex is important—but the truth is, many of us aren’t feeling […]
We’ve all heard rumors about the famous swing or “key” parties that take place among married couples on the North Shore. In Glencoe they say it’s happening in Wilmette. In Wilmette, they insist Winnetka’s the place. In Winnetka, they point to Highland Park. Many readers have expressed curiosity about the subject, so I’ve been asking […]
Most of us try, but miserably fail at putting our marriage first. Sure, we had the designated date night when the kids were young and we couldn’t survive without physical separation from them. But as the tedious demands let up and the kids’ activities kicked in, weekly date night just didn’t get first priority—and neither […]
No marriage is perfect, but here is some simple advice you can use to move your marriage back to first place. The previous article in this series “Put Your Marriage First,” gave us the why; here’s the how. And just to make us all feel better, I included some of my friends’ heart-felt admissions about […]
Divorce rates are down, especially among the educated and wealthy. But in some marriages, it’s not love that’s keeping a couple together—it’s money. They hang in there, not because of the stigma of divorce or religious reasons, but because a split is painfully expensive. They don’t want to give up their lifestyle, or they fear […]
“She’s so abusive!” “He’s not attentive.” “I don’t like the way she treats me.” “He’s never around.” These are some of the comments life counselor Robin Mitzen hears from married couples who are in therapy with her. Some of the things I hear from both men and women are so much worse, I can’t […]
