Confession: My name is Robin Immerman Gruen, and I’m addicted to my phone, my laptop, my desktop, my Kindle Fire and my TV.
If it vibrates, dings, rings or provides any form of entertainment, I want it. Like, I can’t live without it. When I’m plugged in, I feel connected. I sit in front of a computer for more than eight hours each day, yet I still have my phone (two of them, to be fair) within view at all times.
I know I’m not alone in this epidemic, which is spreading from the wee ones up. In fact, one recent episode of the hit TV series “Glee” centered on the idea of unplugging and the benefits it brings: to hear music differently, as well as the emotions that follow suit. It’s as though unplugging results in a retraining of the brain, even though it can be hard to actually do these days.
My problem became apparent on a recent trip when checked luggage got “lost” in transit. Did I worry about the clothing, shoes and toiletries that I’d likely have to live without for at least 12 hours? No—I focused on that beautiful black phone charger, neatly tucked between my socks and undies. “What will I do without a way to breathe life into my Blackberry battery? It will die!” (Did I mean, “I will die!”?) I had a minor panic attack; I became obsessed with finding a compatible charger. I even paid $50 for a new one.
The writing was on the wall: I needed a digital detox. I needed this for me, sure, but I also needed it for the livelihood of my home and family. I want my kids to treat technology as a tool, rather than a need or must. Devorah Heitner, owner of Chicago-based Raising Digital Natives, says, “If you don’t want a middle-schooler who texts at dinner, be sure to put your device away when spending time with your kindergartner; kids notice everything!” And I know Heitner is right.
I embraced the insanity and checked in (without Foursquare, obviously) to my personal digital detox, vowing to spend 24 hours without technology. Instead, I would focus my energy and attention on “living” things, like family and friends—not those on Facebook. That face-to-face contact is crucial. Andy Braner, author and CEO/President of KIVU, a camp for teenagers says, “I’m afraid with the illusion of friendship being highlighted on so many social media platforms, we’re actually redefining what ‘friendship’ really means. To learn how to have compassion for one another apart from a machine is something of the past. To learn how to rejoice with someone in person is becoming a lost art. They just don’t know how to relate anymore.”
The first hour was rough. I felt naked without my phone. I went toward the computer a ton of times: to check the weather, look for a phone number, email my kid’s teacher, order new shoes. Then I would remember my detox, and I’d back away with a feeling of triumph. The next few hours were as other addicts describe: I had the shakes (OK, not literally, but I did feel a bit queasy), and I had a nagging sensation that I had forgotten something.
And then, something pretty amazing happened. I embraced the silence. I did a puzzle with my kids. We made cookies and had a tea party without interruption. I had a lovely dinner with my husband—and we didn’t rush through it to get back online. I also fell asleep without setting my alarm, which is on my phone of course. I woke up feeling refreshed, thanks to a lack of buzzing at sunrise, and ready to start my day.
The truth is: It took me all of two minutes to get plugged-in again. But I’d like to think the post-detox me is less focused on getting my fix and more aware of the good—and bad—that comes from living in a digital world.
Not ready for the cold-turkey approach, even for 24 hours? Here are a few tips to cut back your digital diet:
1. Set limits. According to Prevention, items like smart phones are a visible stimulus just begging to be checked. Try creating designated times during the day, such as meals, or story time with the kids, where phones are turned off.
2. Have fun with it. This trick may get you a free dinner. The next time you’re out with friends, make everyone put their device on the center of the table. The first one to cave and check their phone has to pick up the tab.
3. Make a date. Meeting a friend for a walk or a cup of coffee is a half-hour you can’t be checking Facebook.
Photo: Happy woman using laptop by Bigstock
